I’ve been thinking about the concept of chosen family a lot in the last little while. I’ve actually started to write this post several times in the last several weeks, but kept getting distracted or busy, even though the subject is constantly coming up in my mind and feels especially relevant. I sometimes forget how extensive my chosen family is, how incredible, how reliable, how important.
I think about the people I have chosen to know what I look like when I wake up in the morning or before I go to sleep. The people I have chosen to let hold me when I am upset or have chosen to let listen to me cry when I am sad. The people who have I have opened up to and let me talk about and work through the same complaints and problems over and over. The people that call in the middle of the night, that I have sleepy, cranky conversations with (that I don’t remember in the morning). Or immediately have to send a text or email to and feel relieved when I get a response. The people who I only associate with joy and comfort and strength and warmth, who have gotten me through things I couldn’t do on my own.
This family, that seems to grow as I get older and the quality of people only better, has made me feel more love and support than I have felt from any person with my same name, or feet shape, or blood. From this chosen family of mine, I have inherited humour and kindness and wisdom. And recently, had a profound realisation of their weight and influence on my life.
I feel completely blessed to be able to call these people my true family and I love being even a small part of theirs.
.Good post. Right now my daughter is going through a phase of friends over family. I’m just waiting. She knows we’re always there and sometimes it seems like she takes it for granted. I could be mistaken. It’s hard to see because I know too that she’s stretching her wings. I hope you also have a lot of friends because it sounds like you really have an eye for your family. We’re all growing: you, me, her, us and them. Thanks
I think it’s good to let her know that (as her biological family) you are always there for her, but I also think that people she chooses to let into her life and be close to her are equally profound and important.
I hope she doesn’t take you for granted, because it’s really amazing to have family in your life that will give you space and let you be the person you want to be.